Yoga Makes Me Feel Like Charlie in the Chocolate Factory

After finding the golden ticket, Charlie experienced many magical things. He went from one extreme to the other. Living in a dull and ratty shack, his life was a gray blanket of grief and forever lost opportunities. It's funny, once you decide this is your reality, it's hard to see anything else. You get too comfortable, becoming blind to the holes that exist in the sheath- light trying to push through.

Deep down there is a little voice who is praying for you to have that epiphany, that life changing experience, or for Charlie's sake that stroke of luck.

Yoga is one of those experiences that can save your life from being sucked deeper and deeper in the wrong direction. Instead, through asana, meditation and pranayama, yoga takes you deeper and deeper to your dharma (your purpose and truth).

I remember my good friend Jodi describing her yoga haze after class. I was just getting into yoga at the time, and her stories infatuated me. Post yoga class feels kinda like this: You leave class feeling light as a feather, feeling nude and completely fine with it. Your eyes are no longer dusty, the blinders have been removed, and you're ready to make contact with anyone. You feel more like yourself, connected and completely morphed from when you first walked in. YOU SEE BEAUTY-ALL AROUND!!!!!

Think Pleasantville, when the black and white town discovers colour, or a good mushroom trip (so I've heard), or when Charlie steps into Wonka's magic land.

What I love about the movie, the lessons of yoga, and the tantric philosophy is that as you discover abundant beauty all around, you realize that what you had before is also beautiful.

Opening yourself up to the magic of every stage, experience, conversation, relationship, etc provides a lot of peace and self acceptance. As long as you are observant, and as long as you know when it's time to pull off those "beer goggles", you'll realize that it's all part of the bigger plan; Its all a contribution to your dharma.

Jodi always reminds me that Beauty attracts Beauty. I love that!

If you feel yourself slipping, look at something beautiful. Take in it's colour, its pattern, and energy. Notice the shift in yourself. Hit the mat and see if you can stay present to your sublime breath, shapes, body parts, colours in the room, and to the other beings in the room. I like to reflect on someone or something in my life that exudes loveliness. Use this as your intention, to find clarity, to re-discover life and the perfection in life itself. But who knows, maybe the hiccups are beautiful too!! ;)

The following words have inspired me to write this entry. Enjoy xo

"Yoga teaches that beauty is everywhere if one can learn to see it, and that complete concentration upon a beautiful thought, scene or object will result in relaxation of the mind and achievement of tranquility" ~ Nancy Phelan and Michael Volin

"Do what the Native Americans call seeing in Beauty. Beauty is fires and floods and scorching sun and the patterns on a rattlesnake's skin. To feel real Beauty on this earth-the struggles as well as the lovely surfaces and depths-is the most amazing thing"~Ana Forrest

P.S. 1st picture I took in Delhi, India

Rainbow was taken at my cottage in Ontario

Girl is my bestest Rachel!

Interviews of Fellow Teachers Kickoff!

Every month, I've decided to interview a different yoga teacher, in the Vancouver community. This idea came to me after reading an article in The Yoga Journal. World renown yoga teacher, Seane Corn talks about mentoring Los Angeles teacher, Kathryn Budig. As yoga teachers are popping up everywhere, Corn stressed how important it is to shake of the competitive vibe, teaches how to turn the insecurities around.

"Seane really inspired me not only to not worry about how I'm doing but also to help others. It takes much more energy to be competitive with someone than it does to embrace them, nurture them, " Kathryn recalls.

Read these interviews! Even if you're not into yoga, I suggest it! We have so many breathtaking teachers in our kula (community), so who wouldn't want to get into their ingenious minds. I bet you won't be able to shake these wise beings. They have a way of staying with you, either in your brain, under your skin or in your hearts!

Carolyn Anne Budgell: Teacher of Honesty

~May/22 /11 Interview ~

THE BASICS

1) How old were you when you took your first yoga class? Explain your first impressions.

I was 19 years old when I took my first yoga class (it was a two month sessional in Whistler) with Leslie Young. What I remember most fondly was farting in Trikonasana. I don’t think that has happened in a class since.

I have no idea how or why I chose Leslie Young and why I chose to commit to a two-month introduction instead of just a drop-in class but I tend to jump right in to ventures and activities.

I was completely unaware at the time, but the precise way in which she taught the basics of asana with a focus on alignment eventually propelled me into this style of teaching.

Beginning my practice surrounded by the Cascade Mountains created a ripe environment for yoga to also become very sacred. A quiet solitude envelops much of the Sea to Sky Region and yoga helped me tap into this peace while living in such a transient town during an emotional time in my life.

2) How long did it take for you to realize that yoga might be a forever thing? Describe what it was about yoga that first drew you in?

I took the sessionals with a girlfriend who had expressed to me throughout that she wasn’t really feeling yoga as a fun pastime nor form of exercise. And this shocked me because it felt so natural that I couldn’t consider any other reaction than to be curious about future classes and experiences.

This was the summer of 1999 in Whistler and I used to ride a longboard skateboard daily. Thus, skateboarding was where I first noticed a huge change in my balance. Not only is skateboarding down long hills a thrilling time, but realizing that yoga created huge shifts to improve my balance and the ride was amazing!

3) How long did you practice for before getting the teaching itch? Who inspired you to be a teacher?

I think I realized 4 years into my practice that I wanted to teach. And then 10 years in, I completed my 200 hr YTT. I knew I had a lot of things I wanted to finish before I started teaching yoga-my BA at SFU, but mostly I wanted to spend a lot of time in a personal practice before I could even think of guiding others.

I’ve never thought about who inspired me to be a teacher. I have focused more gratitude and thoughts towards those who have inspired me to be a better human. But for teaching, perhaps it was Cathy High (who gave me the opportunity to take care of her children and listen to her yoga music CD’s while she traveled the world to train heehee). Perhaps it was Alli Warnyca who (in response to my statement “I think I’m too messed up to start teaching”) encouraged “Carolyn, you grow with your students as you teach. Work through your fears and emotions by teaching. No teacher is perfect.”

4) Did you ever in a million years see yourself as a yoga teacher? What did u used to want to be when you grew up?

I have always wanted to teach, whether it be to sweet little babes in daycare, piano lessons, to community members on how to rehabilitate and preserve the environment or teaching yoga – all of which I have done. I have always wanted to teach. And I have this Type A personality quirk, which pushes me to always try and get what I want.

YOGA TID BITS

1) Where have you traveled to train? If you could do a sun salutation, right now, anywhere in the world, where would it be?

I have traveled to California, across BC for various retreats and workshops, Paris to study with Elena Brower, New York City to study with Ana Forrest, David Life and Sharon Gannon, Seattle to study with Ana Forrest. I would like to salute the sun in Norway or New Zealand or Japan.

2)What is the funniest/weirdest thing you've said while teaching?

Last week I said “If a little baby walked into the room right now, would it cry because your face looks so scary and mean?” Laughter is great medicine while in balancing poses.

3) What's your fav yoga book at the moment?

I have many favourites. But right now I’m reading Eastern Body, Western Mind by Anodea Judith. Anything written by Georg Feuerstein is right up my alley, an academic at heart.

4)Name one thing your students don't know about you. Like if you announced it in class, they'd be surprised!

I’m extremely blunt, honest and open while I teach. My greatest inspiration for this method of teaching is Ana Forrest. She reminds us to be in the moment and raw while teaching, as the emotions our students work through are certainly not always flowery and sparkling. I feel that my regular students wouldn’t be surprised by much that I might say.

5) What do you do while your students are in savasana?

I silently thank God and the yogis in the room that we all rose to the occasion and showed up to class.

6) If you could invite anyone to your class, who would it be?

My whole family in the same class.

GOING DEEP

1) What is something you're working on right now on your journey?

I’m trying to cook more, waste less of everything and travel more. Yoga is a part of all these things.

2) What does yoga mean to you?

To me yoga is mastery over the breath. The asana and movement is simply a means to that end. Humans are capable of greatness but the creations of our society are often a hindrance and a distraction to our success and our ability to love others. So to me, yoga is having a good time, sweating, transforming our bodies, peeling away layers of negative self-esteem, fears, doubts, anger, ego, meeting new friends, listening to sweet music and in the end, we are able to sit. We become able to observe the breath. We are able to find compassion when your friend or a complete stranger is hurting inside or hurting you. The breath truly brings us into these moments with a presence that is strong, adaptable and loving.

And as yoga continues to grow as a path towards truth for many beings, there are those who see it only as a work out, or for financial gains. So we must remember, why do we do this? And if it all changed and disappeared tomorrow, what would remain?

PLAYFUL POINTS

1) Viewed any good flicks lately? Heard any good tunes lately?

I have a new secret agent man who provides me with good music. I just listened to Pomplamousse and I have yet another female voice to obsess over.

2) Where can we find out more about you and your teaching sched, so we can feed our yoga crush on you! Haha

www.opentoyoga.wordpress.org

Wenn's Dream

This was taken from a spoken word/song I stumbled across. It grabbed me, as it related closely to the constant journey on the mat.

For me yoga makes me feel more like myself. Every time we step on our plastic rectangles we know a layer will be shed. Also we know that an old piece of ourselves will die off, and we'll resonate closer and closer to our highest expression, our highest potential, and to our ultimate dharma.

In saying that often times our practice can be a struggle. Maybe that just means we've come across a layer that held a lot of junk sitting, on it's surface. But thats just it: it's just surface shit, and we know our real light is just a breath away.

Yoga gives us faith that we will re-discover our satya (truth), and that we will live it out fully.

Yoga lovingly forces your, once tiny, voice, through your vocal chords to resonate the whole world.

Yoga doesn't let us sell ourselves short, during the short time we have on this planet!

Don't believe me? Don't believe in yourself? Well, fake believe until you make it, and see what happens :)

Enjoy xo

~ I had this dream that my mouth opened up, and inside I could see myself standing with two woman on either side of me.

They wanted to show me my reflection.

They wanted to show me my reflection.

To get to it, I had to comb my way, alone, through the layers of flesh inside my throat.

I kept separating and separating, walking in deeper and darker, until finally I found the mirror.

Then there they were: those two woman beside me, again holding my arms.

They told me to open my mouth to sing.

At first I couldn't. I strained, but nothing came out.

I hadn't sang in a while, and it hurt!

But one of them whispered, "Try," as the other handed me glass of water.

I sipped, and at last it came!

At last it came my voice!

I made a sound so beautiful, the two of them had to let go.

~ by The Dwindlers

Picture 1: taken in Cathedral Grove, BC

Picture 3: taken in the Red Fort, India

Blue Valentine

I love when your parents fly in for a visit, because you acquire this temporary warm and fuzzy feeling, but you also get spoiled!

So tonight you better believe that my mom and I sat in our robes, ordered room service, and rented Blue Valentine for $13.99. OUCH

It's always an uncomfortable thing to watch numerous sex scenes with your folks. Embarrassment, and fear waft over you. The same exact rush of emotion you got as a kid, when you knew the Birds and The Bees talk was coming your way. But I'm an adult; Does this ever go away?

Come to think of it, it's probably even worse as an adult because now you're looking at the scenes trying not to get turned on.

Anyway, regardless of the hot shots, this movie was good enough to have me write this blog; Great enough to having me thinking about it for the rest of the week; Excellent enough to have me dreaming about Gosling hopefully for the month, and fabulous enough because for once I could honestly relate.

I could relate so closely that it actually made me feel better about my relationship. Not that my relationship with Parry (name changed to protect his identity) is dreadful by any means. It's probably one relationship I'll have the honour to live out for the rest of my life… awwwww (insert heart here, but do notice the "probably" in that sentence… read on).

But Parry and I are human, and it's not always butterfly kisses and craft time. Although, I constantly encourage craft time as a perfect way to spend our "Emily and Parry Nights " together. But to my re-occurring surprise, I always get turned down. He's nuts!

And it's stupid stuff like, that give me the idea at times that maybe I'm just not with the right guy. For example, I go to yoga and admire the men who are already in meditation before class, and who take the time to draw inwards for 1.5hrs out of their day. Yah, maybe I really should be with a yogi, who's more like me. Then I get home, and my man is on the couch, and I sit down beside him, and we debate about where we are going to stuff our face full of food for an hr. Then I remember why I'm with him. Because to be honest, I don't think my brain could take coming home to have more dharma banter: looking into the deepest nooks and crannies of life. I mean I love it, and that's why I teach, but there isn't enough room in our apartment for his home asana practice too.

Thank goodness an honest Hollywood movie made me feel like I wasn't the only one with my opposite.

Because we're so opposite there is a lot of charge between us. Passion can be so intense in a good and bad way. Obviously I won't go into detail about the good stuff ;) The bad stuff is this force that needs to be let out, and ends up escaping through passive aggression, the extra audible cupboard close, the snide slipped remarks, etc. But my favourite one, was also shared with Ryan and Michelle, in Blue Valentine. After a scene with tons of subtext, Ryan gave up the debate and said, "do you want to fight me?". Cut to a scene of Michelle playfully, but at times seriously, beating the shit out of him. I laughed and laughed at the parallels. Phew! I'm not the only psycho who needs to let a little passion out with a good, rough and tumble, play fight.

But then there are those real fights. Those tear jerkers, where you both show each other the door. Where you both give each other the option to leave, and to find someone better; someone who's a better fit. The ones where you're trying to stay strong for your team, but all you want is them to drop the gloves, to take you up in a dramatic embrace, and to say the most beautiful phrase in the world: "I'M SORRY". You wish you had the balls to do the same. Blue Valentine had many scenes of this exact thing. I bet Michelle was nominated for an Oscar, because these parts spoke to the common, human couple so strongly.

Parry always reminds me that couples fight, and that its healthy. You always return stronger, with a new understanding of your intimate other.

I have to remind myself to not compare my relationship to the make believe relationships that I think others have. That can ruin you!

Instead embrace that maybe you don't have a wedding song picked out! Embrace the fact that instead of dance lessons, you tango in other ways, in YOUR OWN ways! Embrace your differences, and see them as a way to educate each other. Embrace the fact that you can't explain, pinpoint, dissect, or control this love. Get lost in loves purest, most ancient energy. Let love live up to its slogan, "love's like a drug". Let it uproot you, let it make you high.

And there's no going to rehab for us; we chose love…. well for now :) Until I think that I'm the only one going through the shitty parts. But then I'm reminded again!

Thank you Blue Valentine for awakening me. To find out what path Ryan and Michelle choose, watch this indie. It's a goody.

Enjoy xo